It has been a couple of months since my last blog. There is a good reason for it. I could start making excuses and say I’ve been busy but the fact is that I’ve had to cut down some things to be able to rest.
When I created anttisworld.com I told myself that I’m going to update the site all the time. It just writing words and putting out cool content. Super easy, right? In reality, it’s not as easy as it sounds. Creating good content requires a lot of dedication. From planning, filming, writing, travelling and most importantly balancing professional athlete life with life at home can take its toll.
I’ve always thought of myself as an energized person who can keep going like a Duracell bunny. This summer, however, I started to feel the signs that I might be hitting the wall soon if I don’t start cutting down with some of the things that are on my plate. From organizing events, jumping to meetings and writing tons of emails It felt like I’ve had become professional athlete/entrepreneur and that really started to affect me. I was not tired physically but mentally I was not feeling myself. I’d wake up cranky in the mornings and just wanted to run in the woods because I felt anxious about the stuff I needed to do at home.
The weight of having a lot of things on your plate becomes even heavier when your partner is more tired than you are. My lovely Ella had just a few months earlier lost her mother and recently she had decided to take a break of everything to rest and sorrow with time. That’s very proud. These acts of kindness towards yourself are easily overlooked In this world where we’re living nowadays. Everything needs to happen fast and things change all the time. Giving yourself time when you need it can be looked as a sign of weakness whereas, in fact, it is much braver than just keep on going without thinking about the feelings you’re dealing with.
I’m that kind of person. it’s much easier for me to be on top of the sharp-edged mountain than talk about everyday feelings at home. After all, I’m from the Arctic Circle goddammit! I do it with Sisu, not with feelings! This is the way of northern men from Finland. Sisu is in our DNA but the skill to talk about our feelings might be locked tightly in some underground facility near the Russian border. This summer was really the first time in my life when I realised that it was ok to let myself be tired. There is nothing wrong to feel shitty once in a while.
In my life not succeeding at something has always reflected to my performance in snowboarding. Funny thing is that in most cases in snowboarding you will fail much more than you’re successful. Especially when you’re trying to perform on the edge of your skill level. I’ve always thought that it is the best part of my lifestyle. Knowing that from every failure I’ll have a chance to learn to be better.
Still, I never thought I would actually need to start using this type of thinking when I’m not in the mountains. It’s because I was naive enough to think that I could separate my life as a snowboarder from life at home.
It has become more clear that all those things I seek as a snowboarder are also available at home. There are goals, there is joy, there is fear and there are failures. These are all very important moments that I’ve have not always seen clearly. For this reason, I’m so happy I filled my plate with too much stuff. By doing that I was forced to stop and think a bit more.
Finally to be clear. There is nothing bad about filling your plate. You just got to be able to teach yourself how to control the amount.
Hope you liked my little opening blog for this fall. I’ll update next about my upcoming video projects. Peace!